Well,I signed the papers to retire,and just waiting on my orders-they're telling me I'll probably be outta here mid october or so.Then its onward to Michigan's Upper Peninsula to live-(Michigan is very military friendly,and my pension will be tax free).Guess I'll hafta get used to people talking funny again,just like in the movie "Fargo"....have to get used to the cold again too

Well,I got an answer from the med board-they'll go ahead and retire me,if I sign off on it.Only problem is,I'm not READY to retire just yet,so,I had requested to remain on active service.Well my chain of command totally blew a gasket.The civilian handling my case patiently tried to explain to these numbskulls that it WAS'NT their call,and they had had every opportunity to submit paperwork documenting how utterly horrible of an NCO I really am,and failed to do so,and it was now too late.So,NOW,they're trying to send every adverse thing they can think of up to branch at the pentagon,to try to get them to over ride my request.Well,I talked to branch,and the guy told me they'd probably keep me,and send me back to Knox-we'll see what happens.....

Well-I was sitting out back,on my patio,having a ciggie,and enjoying the night breeze(this Texas heat FINALLY broke)-when I heard the most ferocious racket from my (alleged) dog.Figgered he'd actually CAUGHT something.Nope.He was getting chased.By a toad.Sure glad he's not a SECURITY dog-we'd ALL be in trouble

The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

You know how when you get stopped by a cop,and they put on their "official" act?Hands on hips,bug up the ass glare,and slight squint,and say"do you know what I stopped you for"?Well,what if you looked at them,in all seriousness,and replied"Homicide?"